I have never been, nor will I ever be, a slavish follower of fashion fads and trends. In fact, I will contrarily go and do the exact opposite. It’s because I do not understand why people unquestioningly do what others do, or feel the need to emulate what some celeb has been paid to force feed the public. Can they not have their own ideas?

Remember when some chef suddenly decided that pigs’ cheeks were the in cut. Demand and sales soared as did the price after decades of the cut being dismissed as awful offal. And are you old enough to remember the Joanna Lumley Purdie haircut? Chic for about 2 weeks but then nightmarishly unmanageable for months until it grew out.

Currently the in kitchen is high gloss white – floors, cupboards and worktops. And the whole look has to be ultra minimalist. The only appliance that can appear on the spotless worktop is perhaps an eye-waterlingly expensive, complicated coffee machine.

I had been monitoring this particular trend with growing dislike for a while. So when it came to selecting my new kitchen as part of the farm house renovation which has been 4 years in its gestation, I went 180 degrees and chose pitch black matt units.

“Are you sure?” came some well-meaning comments from friends. Yep, I said, the new build is big enough with more than sufficient light to carry it and so I forged on.

Long story short, my kitchen was installed, but the worktops were damaged meaning that I had to wait 4 months before the project could be completed.

Finally, the kitchen fitters were due and I was as much excited as relieved. The youngster was first at the front door and I let Tom in. About fifteen minutes later, I overheard a telephone conversation between Tom and his boss, who was clearly stuck in traffic.

“Been so long since we have been to the site, I have forgotten it. Remind me.” asked Ty

Tom responded instantly. “Black kitchen, white monster dog.”

“Oh yeah,” said Ty, “now, I remember.”

I pretended I had heard nothing but was hugely chuffed and very amused. Of all the words in the English language that could have described me, these five were just perfect. I could not have put it better myself.

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